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To my Stalker in Florida

Dear Stalker (You know who you are),

Please stop trying to get in touch with me and to talk to me. You calling me at my hotel on vacation when I did not even give you my number was creepy enough.

Stop trying to add me to Skype and all your social networks. Just because I was nice to you on the plane and because you did me a favor by swapping an aisle seat for me does not mean we can be best friends.

If you try to get in touch with me again, I will inform your workplace that you are a stalker.

Do not try to contact me again or you will regret it.